~^*8*^~
~^*8*^~
Roe on February 3rd 2009, 12:50 am
~Optical Pain~
To see the world through my eyes
Means to see a world without my life.
To see the world through my eyes
Means to see something so much better.
Everyday I wake up with a feeling of dread
Telling myself it'll pass in no time
Everyday I wake up with a feeling of dread
Telling myself it's nothing and life goes on
Each moment I breath feels like I'm doing nothing
Keeping my tears back I punish myself for them
Each moment I breath feels like I'm doing nothing
Keeping my sanity in check I tear myself apart
Telling myself everything will be okay
I walk around hoping for that day
Telling myself everything will be okay
I walk around with a smile and no one sees.
Watching each day pass by and still I feel
Pain which has no visible end
Watching each day pass by and still I feel
Pain which hurts like nothing else
Laying down I stare into oblivion
Wishing my pain away
Laying down I stare into oblivion
Hoping for an end to the misery
~Reservoir~
Without retribution.
Tryin to find my name
Lookin in all the wrong places
Takin from everyone
Leavein nothin behind for good
Drawin out patrons from their sanctuary
Returnin them broken and usless
I hold back this fire inside
Diein each time
I steel my heart to the words and phrases
Diein each time
Never stoppin to hear myself
Always runnin without a mirror
Sprintin to the finish line
I spin and see what damage is done
Broken hearts and devastated spirits
Torn jeans and ripped skirts
Trippin on myself
I stumble with this fire inside
Diein a little inside
My steel is melting on my veins
Diein a little inside
Fallin facedown
I feel the cold hard earth
Gettin walked on
I know the pain I cause
Seein the flashes of memory
The look upon my face
Feelin their disgust and hate inside my mind
I die with this fire inside
Dead to the world already
Steel forgotten and veins still pumpin
Dead to the world already
Cryin on the outside
Bleedin on the inside
Regrettin my decisions
Feelin their pain
I start to rise anew
Only to have alight shine through
Feeling a hand on my back and the hope of a new life
I live with a new fire inside
Bein the one I need to be
I take my stand against myself
Bein the one I need to be
~Caged Hearts & Broken Souls~
I can't help but feel this feeling of loss.
That I'm going to lose something.
I know it's going to be close to me.
And I hate that it will be.
I can't help this feeling of regret.
I hurt people close to me.
The pain in their eyes & hurt on their face.
It haunts my dreams & fills my day.
Killing me slowly with every image.
Cutting me inside with sorrow and regret.
This person I've become is a monster.
I can't look at myself in the mirror.
I try to change & become human.
But every time I screw it up.
Tears of sorrow & smiles of pain.
Are all I have to show for my troubles.
A hardened mask covering my face
I must wear this to calm my fear.
To see the world through my eyes
Means to see a world without my life.
To see the world through my eyes
Means to see something so much better.
Everyday I wake up with a feeling of dread
Telling myself it'll pass in no time
Everyday I wake up with a feeling of dread
Telling myself it's nothing and life goes on
Each moment I breath feels like I'm doing nothing
Keeping my tears back I punish myself for them
Each moment I breath feels like I'm doing nothing
Keeping my sanity in check I tear myself apart
Telling myself everything will be okay
I walk around hoping for that day
Telling myself everything will be okay
I walk around with a smile and no one sees.
Watching each day pass by and still I feel
Pain which has no visible end
Watching each day pass by and still I feel
Pain which hurts like nothing else
Laying down I stare into oblivion
Wishing my pain away
Laying down I stare into oblivion
Hoping for an end to the misery
~Reservoir~
Without retribution.
Tryin to find my name
Lookin in all the wrong places
Takin from everyone
Leavein nothin behind for good
Drawin out patrons from their sanctuary
Returnin them broken and usless
I hold back this fire inside
Diein each time
I steel my heart to the words and phrases
Diein each time
Never stoppin to hear myself
Always runnin without a mirror
Sprintin to the finish line
I spin and see what damage is done
Broken hearts and devastated spirits
Torn jeans and ripped skirts
Trippin on myself
I stumble with this fire inside
Diein a little inside
My steel is melting on my veins
Diein a little inside
Fallin facedown
I feel the cold hard earth
Gettin walked on
I know the pain I cause
Seein the flashes of memory
The look upon my face
Feelin their disgust and hate inside my mind
I die with this fire inside
Dead to the world already
Steel forgotten and veins still pumpin
Dead to the world already
Cryin on the outside
Bleedin on the inside
Regrettin my decisions
Feelin their pain
I start to rise anew
Only to have alight shine through
Feeling a hand on my back and the hope of a new life
I live with a new fire inside
Bein the one I need to be
I take my stand against myself
Bein the one I need to be
~Caged Hearts & Broken Souls~
I can't help but feel this feeling of loss.
That I'm going to lose something.
I know it's going to be close to me.
And I hate that it will be.
I can't help this feeling of regret.
I hurt people close to me.
The pain in their eyes & hurt on their face.
It haunts my dreams & fills my day.
Killing me slowly with every image.
Cutting me inside with sorrow and regret.
This person I've become is a monster.
I can't look at myself in the mirror.
I try to change & become human.
But every time I screw it up.
Tears of sorrow & smiles of pain.
Are all I have to show for my troubles.
A hardened mask covering my face
I must wear this to calm my fear.
Roe- Posts: 437
Join date: 2008-12-02
Age: 21
Location: In my chair. Within my mind. Hiding in your closet. :ebil smile: 
Re: ~^*8*^~
Roe on February 4th 2009, 1:26 am
No. I see myself a million times worse than that. When I fuck up, I'm a million times harder on myself than anyone else can ever be to me.
Roe- Posts: 437
Join date: 2008-12-02
Age: 21
Location: In my chair. Within my mind. Hiding in your closet. :ebil smile: -
Roe- Posts: 437
Join date: 2008-12-02
Age: 21
Location: In my chair. Within my mind. Hiding in your closet. :ebil smile: -
Re: ~^*8*^~
Rayleen on February 5th 2009, 6:13 am
but i am.
it isnt easy being hjarder on your self than any one else.
its already bad enough that most people have some one that does it for them but to do it to yourself just isnt fair.
most of the time it cant possibly be your fault.
it isnt easy being hjarder on your self than any one else.
its already bad enough that most people have some one that does it for them but to do it to yourself just isnt fair.
most of the time it cant possibly be your fault.
Rayleen- Posts: 413
Join date: 2008-12-04
Age: 18 -
Re: ~^*8*^~
Roe on February 5th 2009, 10:31 am
The one thing I've found to be easy to do when this fault of mine comes into play is the ability to find some way it's my fault.
To me, if I had done better, the bad thing that happened, wouldn't have happened.
To me, if I had done better, the bad thing that happened, wouldn't have happened.
Roe- Posts: 437
Join date: 2008-12-02
Age: 21
Location: In my chair. Within my mind. Hiding in your closet. :ebil smile: -
Re: ~^*8*^~
Rayleen on February 6th 2009, 1:31 am
yea i noticed that character trait when we talked about me and the military.
its ok though.
people are like that all of the time,they cant help it.
i just want you to promise me that if anything ever happens to me and it wasnt your fault that you wouldnt blame yourself.
its ok though.
people are like that all of the time,they cant help it.
i just want you to promise me that if anything ever happens to me and it wasnt your fault that you wouldnt blame yourself.
Rayleen- Posts: 413
Join date: 2008-12-04
Age: 18 -
Re: ~^*8*^~
Roe on February 6th 2009, 4:28 am
I can't promise you that. Not right now. If you died tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from taking every inch of the blame. Next month, next year, maybe. But right now, I can't do that. It's too drastic of a change for me to make on the spot.
Roe- Posts: 437
Join date: 2008-12-02
Age: 21
Location: In my chair. Within my mind. Hiding in your closet. :ebil smile: -
Re: ~^*8*^~
Rayleen on February 6th 2009, 4:38 am
ok fine but i am going to ask you again next month.
you better start working on it!
lol
you better start working on it!
lol
Rayleen- Posts: 413
Join date: 2008-12-04
Age: 18 -
Roe- Posts: 437
Join date: 2008-12-02
Age: 21
Location: In my chair. Within my mind. Hiding in your closet. :ebil smile: -
Re: ~^*8*^~
Rayleen on February 6th 2009, 5:07 am
well if you cant i am ok with it.
i dont want to push you into doing something yo cant or dont want to do.
i dont want to push you into doing something yo cant or dont want to do.
Rayleen- Posts: 413
Join date: 2008-12-04
Age: 18 -
Roe- Posts: 437
Join date: 2008-12-02
Age: 21
Location: In my chair. Within my mind. Hiding in your closet. :ebil smile: -
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